this is going to get so much harder

** sook blog **

Dads going over seas tomorrow apparently, so that means im back to babysitting and working. Id have no time for my boyfriend or my friends. This is going to be so hard on me i swear my parents just dont understand. you know if I dont see him enough he'll probs get bored of me and break up like i think hes having doubts already, you know i really want to fall in love im craving love. i dont want my parents to ruin something for me that iv never experienced iv never had a real boyfriend iv never commited myself to one person so strong before. they cant ruin this for me. I need a fucking life I need to get out there and see my friends. Its his birthday this weekend and I cant even attend it that hurts me so much i cant stop crying. i feel so insecure and alone why is everything in life so hard when we were going so strong.

hangovers and cheap conversations

Sooo i was really foolish lastnight and I went out got piss blind then went to this one club and bam got my ID taken off me so I went home and sooked lucky i didnt get fined but still i feel so guttered and i feel so bad erghhhhh i feel erghh thats what im feeling right now, mann my boyfriends going to be so pissed off with me eh.

help! i feel alive.

Ahhh iv been working so much and been just going to bed so i havnt updated in like 3 days and i also havnt been home. ahh my throats so sore its been sore for about a week now rahhh. i think im going to go to bed got workies tomorrow and then going out tmoorrow night and getting that fucking drunk weooww i havnt been out in agess so im so keen for tomorrow night hey!
love love xx

young love?

so my new boyfriend said to me today.

' so you reckon you love me '

i replied back with, 'no. not yet whys that?'

he told me he was just asking so i replied back with,

' oh ok then i just believe falling in love will take time and we talked about it the other day, baby we will fall in love one day..

besides you cant love someone in such short time. i believe i wont fall in love for at least a year or so. well anyways, what do i know about love. im just drunk with lust

i have ears and eyes all over

He told me if i fuck up I only get one chance.

.. and he will always find out

baby were gonna fall in love with eachother one day..

oh how those words captured me, i hope so.
i really do.

the other day i had to stop and think, and boy i love the way you get to me.

lalala i dont have much to say, went to work this arvo did a few hours setting tables setting up for tomorrow nights event of 500 people + yew not happy im missing out on halloween but oh well i just saved myself $200 in costume and alcohol and a hangover ah well. how come every person i tell i have a boyfriend and they dont support me tell me it wont last or are so shocked that i tegan sutherland have a boyfriend im spewin' hey. im happy for once and no one believes on me or accepts that.

ill prove you all wrong i can do it, i can make it work. Its all me this time.

thats all for tonight x

hey new boyfriend!

yeah im not even kidding would it be rude of me to go into every aspect of lastnights details with him, haahaha anyways pretty much whatever i wrote downthere is all fucked cause I said I dont believe in love or relationships, NOT that im in 'love' im just saying things changed. Iv been through lame relationships etc this year and you know its hard to come across guys like these. Hes so dreamy really, I dont want to be hot sexy etc. I want to be beautiful he tells me these things. I think thats so cute. Im pretty sure we made everyone sick at tafe today cause we were hands all over hah how peachy. and and last night so anyways, i dragged shelly along with me, thanks shelly! and we got really really drunk all of us did. 3 hours sleep tafe in the morning with a massive hangover. we played spin the bottle and seriously AHAHAHAHAH SOME OF THE TIHNGS I WITNESSED LASTNIGHT.... i cant say what happened in there stayed in the apartment HAHA. even tho it got blurted out today anyways i just feel so happy and hes just so adoreable he whispers cute things to me and looks me right in the eyes hes so dreamy really.

xx

Natasha Bailey

We will no matter what always and always be friends. Your my best friend my better half my fucking drinking buddy thats what. Without you im only half of me empty and pointless, friends till the end I love you bitch xx.

giggity giggity gooOo!1

fuck i love family guy, anyways thanks shelly for coming with me to the boys house ahahah yew, really i bet ill be all like na not drinking na na, NA I AM AHAH pour me a drink mateeee! ahhh i have no idea what im in for tonight, I hope everything goes swell, id really like to get to know this guy and not be some 'fuck buddy' or whatever.

yuck, its raining today so i bet by the time i get there ill look like a drowned rat.
ahh lovezz it,

thats all xx

Fill my head with summertime talk

I went out to lunch with mum today, It was so lovely to have a one on one with her and talk about everything. The food wasnt that great. Ahhh oh my god I get to see him tomorrow im kinda nervous to stay over but I think I wont make the same mistake's iv made with other boys with him. He really does fill my head up with summertime talk.

and weoowww Sydney baby 8th December so can't wait. December is going to be an amazing month for me.

Sydney

Seeing someone ;)

Goldcoast

Then new Years

my birthday

Aussie day

FESTIVALSSS

new york i love you, but your bringing me down

Going into the city today to see Naomi and to pick up my hair extensions today, fuck my life my phone bill is $300 I'm so broke now. Once again. I don't want to constantly sook about it but i don't see why I'm still here, i feel so alone and alienated. Why isn't it easy for me to just pack up and book a ticket far far away? I doubt anyone realises how much this all brings me down. I haven't been truly happy for a long time and when i am happy its away from home and everyone. would you care if i disapeared? you know boy, all those sunsets and coast line shores just make me miss you more, one day ill find you.


.. one day.

x

this is for sammi and our amazing perth trip new years this year 09'

weooww, i miss her like crazyyy so i thought id post a quick blog on what happened when i was in perth for a week or so, from like new years and shit. and i saw sammi heres some of the moments of what we did;

- got off the train screaming and running with arms wide open when i saw sammi at the traino

- we were all excitedd and full of energy giggling through the traino

- '' OH MY GOD LOOK SKY SCRAPERS WE DONT HAVE THESE IN CAIRNS TAKE A PHOTO OF ME SAMMI IM A TOURIST''

- um we were sitting at this cafe waiting for the ferry and this sped was full touching sammis leg and his care person was like dont be alarmed he has a foot fetish and he kept moaning at us haahahaha

- cottesloe beach with those boys, we were at the beach and these random guys though id be funny to pick us up and chuck us in the water, then we hung out with them and drove around with them yelling out random stuff to people on the side walk and the guy forgot to give my bracelet back :*(

- some bitch called me us a pig cause i chucked a bottle on the ground AHAHAHAHAH..

- i always kept saying 'warnahbro' instead of warnbro

- we were walking through the city and these coons come up to us and ask us for money for the bus and im like na man i deal with your shit in cairns and im like shut up sammi quick run ahahahahahahahaaha

- we were getting the elevator and this chick was just chillin in there with dirty feet on her DS charging her thing like she was in her living room

- 5 fingering in vally girl and sammis all like OMG YOU STOLE YOU STOLE OMG OMG and im like shh sammi gosh i taxed it shhh ahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahaha

- going skits at the bell tower that shit was loud

- catching the train and getting lost and some weird fat emo bitch told us to calm down :S

haha..

- nearly getting bashed from some derros cause i was laughing at them aha

- getting free hugsss


ILL BE BACK IN PERTHH SOOONNN when i save some moolahhh

Good evening, This is your fucking captain speaking.

We will soon be reaching an altitude of four million and a half feet
That’s eight million miles in the sky. Please, undo your seat belt for takeoff.
You are now free to smoke about the cabin.

blah blah blah, another shitty ass day. actually iv been in bed like all day i feel sick as a dog hey. hung the fuck over mateee. iv saved some cash for coast in the next two months soo happy. not long till i get away from here for a while. i really wish Wednesday would hurry up. you know what iv realised everyone is just fake. they are as fake as they come. pretty cheap actually. everyone lies just to make there other significant happy. pretty fucking shitty actually. go on go tell the world all your wonderful lies show everyone how fake you really are. im going to laugh when you fall and have nothing left.

if your stomach feels weak then my work heres done.


bye bitch xx

i can feel you all around me

Worked lastnight, was really busy and hard. Got home late this morning, work tonight again hahah yew. Im sick of drunk guys hugging me and getting to friendly fuck. Today going into the city to look for some costumes for tomorrow nights 'bar golf' no idea what it is sounds sick as shit though! So that guy I was talking about the other day seems really nice and hes full like i want to get to know you rara. So I think I'm going over to his house on Wednesday for a 'friends only' drink up. Err I can't get too pissed as I have Tafe the next morning .

that is all.

xx

fuck whats with everyone today

Really.. I was in the perfect mood then idiots had to crush that.



Ahh god all im thinking to myself right now is just a year. A year to go. Then im goneee. Im still set on going to Goldcoast but Im really thinking about like Perth or Sydney or something. I feel like Cairns has nothing for me, Iv made some great friends but Im sick of knowing groups and cliques and gossip and drama. Everyone knows everyone and everyones business. I think I just need a fresh start. One more year tegan! Hopefully next year Ill get all my shit sorted money stable and as soon as I get a job down coast even. Ill move straight away. This is my
goal.





Isnt the goldcoast so lovely.

lets get started;

Hi, I'm Tegan, and i live in Australia.

I think creating a blog would help people and also myself, understand what I see and portray in my life.

So here I go with my first post;

Right now, I'm laying in bed its about 1:29 am in the morning and as per usual I can't sleep. aha. So anywhoo I'm up writing this blog. Today was a good day for me actually, apart from working so so late last night I had to get up for tafe. If you wanted to know or about to ask I study flight and cruise attending. So anyways, I stayed up really late last night and I woke up late for tafe I couldn't be bothered for that shit anyways. Got ready and left about 9:30am. Got there and saw the girls seriously we had the most retard lecture ever I swear my attention spand is the size of a goldfish. The day went on blah blah blah. Actually when we had our first break we were all eyeing off this group of tradies, and we all agreed that the blonde one with blue eyes was hot. So we were sitting down at the tables, and they walk out past us and the hot one walked past us. See I have nooo shame whats so ever, so I yelled out ' oi your really hott ' hahahaha all the girls were like ' oh what the fuck tegan all blushing you bitches know its true!

Then for our second break we decided to go to the petrol station for some cigarettes ( which I'm tryinggg so hard to quit ) guess who follows? the boys. We walked out from the petrol station and then Susan calls me and I flip my phone up to answer and it goes loud speak so, you know she says ' oh look theirs the guys they are right there!!!' ahaha so we walk back and they are hot on our trail and then Shelly starts talking to the hot one and hes like ' oh so who called out to me i want that chicks number rara' so he came up to me and asked me for it, I knew his friend so we were just all talking and yessss I got his number pretty stoked. Oh and I knew his mate he lives with from last year when i did hairdressing hahaha small world. Oh did I mention we have some sped stalkers, ok ok I feel really bad cause I always yell out ' hey sexy' ' hey baby' and they always blush and call me beautiful hahaha but everywhere we go they sit near us try to talk to us and always stare and its just abit uneasy on us now opps!

So tafe ended and we went to the costume shop to look for some costumes for halloween I was this mad hot one its a mad though, and thats so orginal but its black and pink and its pretttyyyyy hot. So I might get that one, but we will see.

After that we went to centrals to chill I hate latenight I think its so immature and full of boppers so I quickly go in and out. Shelly saw two of her friends not naming names, but that guy seriously got on my nerves no offence shelly hes hot and all but a complete chode hahaha. Sooo.. then I came home and chilled out and bang here i am. Fuck I have work tomorrow behind the bar I thinnnkkk till like 3am not keen hey!

So that was my day. Pretty average.

Heres abit about me:

• I'm really tiny, So im short and skinny.
• My favourite colour is pink
• I like the beach alot
• I like to dress up and look my best regardless if I was going to the shops or to a social event
• Rum is my favourite alcoholic drink
• I bartend and work in a surf store
• My plans in the next year or so is to move down to the goldcoast
• I pretty much failed school
• I like bright lights and loud music
• I listen to every genre of music
• Lyrics and Quotes are amazing
• I dont date and I dont believe in love
• Pretty much I believe its my way or the high way
• Strong headed
• Id rather be alone
• I like the retro sorta style anything to do with big citys bright lights and partying
• French tip nails are hot, I always have mine done
• Long hair and fake eyelashs are also hot
• I txt alot and my phone is ALWAYS in my hand
• I push people to their limits
• Im out of control
• I have a bad temper
• I can be the most nicest person you'll ever meet
• Or.. I could be the most meanest person you'll ever meet
• I don't care what so ever who you think about me I am me. You or him or her or whatever will never ever change that. I change for no one.
• Have no regrets
• I have a tattoo on my lower back and of course I want more!
• I have my tounge my monroe use to have my nose, my ears done twice and my belly done.
• I love having DnM conversations
• I like looking out the window alot
• I have a cat
• I hate dogs
• You either hate me or you love me, im not phased
• I always wish for a boy to take my breath away but that is never the case, so therefore as I said I don't believe in dating nor love
• I like long drives
• Road trips are good too
• Goldcoast is amazing
• If the surf was great here, i would have taken up surfing but its shit so.. fuck you cairns
• I like to collect bikinis
• I have more highheels then proper shoes
• I wear mostly short shorts and a top
• I like to go camping

talk tomorrow, im off to get some sleep.

Night xx!